victorl.ai

it's not okay

I know a guy who has really poor social skills, where sometimes it’ll be embarrassing and other times it’s unbearably awkward/rude/annoying to see. I’m not really close enough to give advice, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing so anyways. I also know a lot of people who like laughing or making fun of the awkward things he does, and he does a lot of them.

The problem is, I’m in that group too. I tell myself it’s fine, and I like doing it, but when I look back I always tell it’s wrong. And then I do nothing about it.

Even worse, I have the audacity to think poorly about my friends when I arbitrarily decide that they’ve gone too far or they’re pushing the jokes a bit hard. Right, I’m better than them because I’m not like that. It’s amazing what your brain can try to justify. It’s not okay to think or act like this.

The problem’s pretty easy to solve. It’s been getting a lot easier to see the good side of people and trying to avoid drawing that arbitrary line between categorizing people as good or bad, likable or not, if you can always see some good in them. It’s just made harder when you realize that everyone’s basically like this inside.

I think a simple rule I’d like to follow is just, be kind. Maybe you’re not as kind to some as to others. But by always being kind I’ll hopefully get over the idea that I’m being hypocritical or feel bad about treating someone in a harmful manner. Being kind is just so hard sometimes in the face of such overwhelming negativity. It’s no excuse though.

Luckily, I’ve met lots of great examples of kind friends to emulate. The first steps to an ideal world start with me.

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